There have been moments in my life where I felt that I didn’t deserve to be happy. That for whatever reason, whatever decisions I made that my life just was what it was. I call most of these my dark days but I have had a few moments even during the good times where I felt I didn’t deserve something…but I’m here to tell you we all DESERVE to be HAPPY! Regardless of the decisions and events in your life.
In 2007, I was in what I thought was a great relationship, and I was blind sighted by infidelity, just 1 month after being married at 20 years old. I wanted a family so bad, I wanted my future and I didn’t want to prove our parents right that we were “Too Young” to get married, so we dealt with the infidelities for years privately. (Yes I said Infidelities! Plural) You see, this relationship had worn me down, my confidence was gone, I packed on more weight, and I felt like this was just my life. I figured no one else would want me and I thought that I couldn’t do any better, and was just stuck in this life that I picked. I thought I just had to get through this “rough patch” in order to have a family, children, and eventually I thought things would change…
WellI’m here to tell you THINGS DID CHANGE, in 2011, I filed for divorce, started over, and FINALLY became FREE! Free from the hurt, the pain, the mediocrity that I was living everyday. I thought it was going to be so hard, and there were days when it was, I didn’t want to start my life over at 24 years old, I didn’t want the stigma of “divorced” on my record, but I HAD to start over to find happiness. I was 3K miles away from everyone I knew and loved, so starting over seemed crazy and scary! But I did it! I rented a room from a lady I found on craigslist, moved out all my stuff and my dog and I started over together! I started working out, getting my confidence back and FINALLY got back to the REAL me! I got my sexy back, and my ex “wanted to change” then, but I knew I DESERVED better and I was determined to find it!
9 months later I started dating my husband Patrick, got engaged the next year, married after that and now have my amazing family with 4 children. I am TRULY HAPPY! But if I didn’t make that decision that day to leave my ex, and start over…I would never be where I am today.
I tell you this story to say, evaluate what you have going on, sometimes you have to make BIG changes to get BIG results. Sometimes starting over looks harder than it actually is. But the rewards can be absolutely AMAZING! I never knew what it TRULY meant to be in love, and happy until I met my husband Patrick but I had to ride out that storm, the starting over, and eventually find him! Besides being with the man of my dreams, the confidence, the happiness that I have daily makes me a better person, not just for me, but the people around me too! I’m no longer saying that I DONT DESERVE something, or that I WILL NEVER get something. I make plans, goals, steps, and CRUSH them…through that year of transition I realized, I can do anything if I put my mind to it…and I DESERVE to be HAPPY!